Rainy Day

It's a rainy day here in Morocco so I thought I better update the old blog for all of you dedicated readers out there! If you haven't noticed yet, I am back in Morocco (even though I think my heart and mind are still in Michigan!) My trip home was amazing and went by too fast as most vacations do. The trip home did reinvigorate me to come back here and do some good solid work before I leave. It's funny how the remaining 10 months of my service doesn't really seem like that long of a time now since I know how fast time flies by over here! On top of work, traveling, and drinking tea with my Moroccan family and friends (which really takes up most of my time), I have started studying for the GMAT so I can go to grad school when I return home, inshallah. I did just find out that the GMAT costs $250 to take so I'm also working on ways to save money from my already small PC budget-- looks like I'm going to have to cut down on my overall egg consumption!

The trip home did a lot of great things, one of those being the realization of how little of this opportunity I have fully taken advantage of. Sure I have gone out and done some cool things, gotten to know the culture, and read some books that I otherwise wouldn't have-- but I still don't feel like I have gotten to really know many Moroccans on a personal level and done enough to teach Moroccans about my own culture and how we as Americans function. For the most part I believe this was because I myself forgot how Americans function! I became too entangled in my situation and lost my own cultural identity. Going home made me realize that as Americans we don't give up when the going gets tough, we don't accept the status quo, we use our ingenuity to overcome impossible odds, and when we fail we get back up and try again. We are optimistic, not fatalistic! I have made a vow to myself for the next 10 months to not forget who I am, as an American, and where I come from. Being integrated into my community is great, but I have to always remain cognizant of the fundamental differences between us and how I can use those differences in a way that we both benefit.

As funny as it sounds, it took a friend who has been upset with dating in America for me to realize what I was doing wrong over here in terms of my own friendships with Moroccans. He recently tried the personal ads on Craigslist to find a good match for himself and sent me over a few links to see what I thought. The 'matches' that he sent me were for the most part attractive girls of the same age as he and had simliar interests, but after reading one poorly written 'personal' after the next something clicked in my head... Sure my friend could go out with these girls, but would anything ever come out of it being that they had such clearly different educational and experience backgrounds? That's a question in itself for dating and relationships in America, but what clicked in my head was how this question affected my own friendships here in Morocco. Or more like lackthereof friendships here in Morocco. Ever since arriving in my town I've been trying to integrate better into my community by hanging out with my host brothers and their friends or other people around my same age, but we never seem to click. After my friend's Craigslist attempts I've realized that I've been trying to hang out with the wrong people. Sure they're the same age as me and we may have similar interests, but there is a huge disparity between our maturity levels, personal experiences, and overall education. It's no wonder why I get bored of hanging out with them so quickly since we have no engaging conversations, nobody to challenge my arguments or viewpoints, and no shared experiences to fall back on. I've decided I need to make new friends with some of the local teachers and businessmen-- some of the older and more educated crowd in order to have more valuable friendships. I need to refocus my efforts on becoming integrated in my community by creating lasting and informative friendships with people within the community that are valued themselves! I think then I will find a new fulfillment with my life over here considering the past year I've had nobody to really fall back on in my community but my host family. Everybody needs some support and friendship every once in a while!